Monday, June 4, 2007

Down to the Wire

I leave in two days. I should be running around frantically, but I'm not. Instead I'm pacing back and forth with nothing to do. Is it possible I was too well organized? A few minor details are not enough to keep me busy for the next forty-eight hours. It seems like every two minutes I'm trying to think, unsuccessfully, of something that I forgot to do. I sense an overarching feeling of anxiety over everything that I do. This is something I'm not used to. Anyone that knows me closely knows that I normally just will these unnecessary emotions to stop. No sense in being worried about something that might not happen. No sense in being nervous about the unknown - just take it as it comes. Not so today. I'll just have to patiently wait it out.

In the same sense of not being able to will my emotions to stop, I'm finding goodbyes a little harder than expected too. I've made a lot of quite good friends over the last few months. I have been very fortunate all my life, but especially as of late I have been happier and more peaceful than before.

One last thank you and goodbye to everyone who has ever showed me kindness even in the smallest way. We'll stay in touch. If you're trying to figure out if I'm talking to you, I probably am.



lesly said...

This is it, the last day to chat you up on the phone. I dread the goodbye but I am so happy for you and inspired by this adventure.
Thank you for creating a blog so we can share in your joy.
Miss you already!

lesly said...

Wow! You made it!!! AFRICA!! Sounds so good but I can't believe you are there - finally doing all the things we have been talking about! It is a dream come true.
Your intro is as good as me coming home to all the presents left by you. I keep finding them.
I miss you already and so does Jack but what a great intro you have given us Tim. We love and miss you, stay well, happy and peaceful.
Love the red clock, thinking of you when I wake up to start the day. Jack keeps trying to get into guys cars but I keep telling him you are in Africa. Silly pup.
L and J